Juliana Fehr's book and some odd coincidences!

I recently had the wonderful good fortune of meeting and speaking with Juliana Fehr at last month's Loudoun Birth Matters meeting. I had a really nice conversation with her and she suggested I read her book, Diary of a Midwife. She said her mother had suggested she write a book, and this book is based on the letters she wrote to her mom about her early years as a midwife.

I found a copy of this book at a used book website and have been chipping away at it bit by bit. What a wonderful book! Juliana has such amazing insight into birth and life in general. I've really enjoyed the reading. I'm about 2/3 of the way through it and I just read a really touching passage about the death of her mother. I just wanted to reach out and give Juliana a big hug after that today.

While I was reading this book, I noticed something peculiar about the particular copy I had. The bookseller had acquired this book from the Meriden Public Library in Meriden, Connecticut. That library is quite close to where my dad used to live. Also, and this was the really big thing for me, it was stamped "Meriden Public Library March 8, 1999." That day in 1999 was the day my daughter Elizabeth was born. It was her birth that started me down the path towards eventually becoming an advocate for natural birth, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, and now my career as a midwife. It was with Elizabeth's birth that I healed many of my old wounds from my first two births, and I discovered my inner strength to persevere with breastfeeding.

Shortly after her birth, I joined La Leche League, which started a chain of events that brought me to choose to give birth at home when I gave birth to Charlie. Giving birth to Charlie at home gave me the courage to finish my La Leche League Leader Accreditation and become the Coordinator of Leader Accreditation for Virginia and West Virginia.

My involvement in La Leche League encouraged me to start my business, Natural Family Boutique, which was a home party business. My vision for the business was that it would be like a La Leche League Meeting with products to support lifestyle choices many LLL Members make. My goal was to provide mother to mother support (like LLL) in a home party format. I planned that moms would share their challenges and solutions and products that helped them along the way.

What I didn't plan on was how my work with NFB would encourage me to take on even greater challenges. When I saw an NFB Sales Consultant become more confident in her parenting because NFB somehow validated her choices, I knew the power of women supporting women. I saw women choose homebirths who had never even considered the idea before their involvement with NFB. I saw women blossom as mothers, confident in their choices and empowered by their support network. When my business failed last year, I found myself with this gaping hole in my life, and I knew it could only be filled by helping women in the same way I had seen NFB help them.

My business started declining due to the economy while I was pregnant with Justin. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to have a homebirth again, and I chose Peggy Franklin as my midwife. As my pregnancy progressed, I started to see homebirth midwifery as something I might be able to do myself, and I admired Peggy so much and thought if my life changed to the point where I could pursue midwifery I would really like to work with her as my teacher.

A few months after Justin was born, my business went through difficulties from which it would never recover. I felt such grief at the prospect of closing my business, but the thought of the opportunities it presented encouraged me. I could finally pursue midwifery! So, I made an appointment to speak with Peggy about working with her as an apprentice. Thankfully, Peggy accepted me into an apprenticeship and with that news I enrolled in National Midwifery Institute's program. Now, a year into the program, with 12 births under my belt, and a sense that I am doing my life's work, I meet Juliana and learn about her book. Pretty amazing.

God works in my life in ways I don't necessarily understand at the time. If you would have told me 9 years ago that I would be studying to be a homebirth midwife, I would have thought you were nuts! But, God, as usual, had a plan for my life I wasn't aware of. I didn't understand it then, but in hindsight, I feel comforted to know that he has been there for me all along, guiding me along my path.